ike and tina.

sunday, march 18:
  well, yesterday I didn't make it to church :( such a sad admission. but hopefully my conviction will get me to UBC this Sunday after my volleyball tournament? 
  I finally made it home after THREE hours of traffic... a beautiful thing traffic is... truly, words cannot express how I feel about traffic. however, I did make it home and unpacked all my shiz only to leave it lying around the floor for me to hopefully conquer throughout the week. chipotle alone was cute. but then Dinah came over and we chilled for a bit while screaming at the TV with all the last-second 3-point attempts going on last night. I give up on my bracket. actually, I gave up after my third loss in a row. it's weird to not be so competitive about this year with all these upsets occurring... maybe the Lord is softening my heart? (I'm being facetious)
  strange things are going on in my body (no, I am not becoming a man, for all two of you maybe reading this that might think that's a funny joke). last night I crawled into bed around 1 or so and just could not get to sleep. I don't know what was going on but I rolled around for what seemed like ages only to realize it was 2am. so I got up and unpacked some more and then read for awhile and then played with kitty then got back in bed. after another hour or so, I got back out of bed and cleaned my room some and folded clothes and laid on the couch. then after a final attempt at falling asleep, I arose once again and this time decided to continue transcribing Matthew - a sure winner to knock one out cold. not that it's terribly boring, but there is just so much effort involved in rewriting one of the Gospels! at last, at 5:30am I became the slightest bit sleepy and went to bed for the last time. unsurprisingly, I beat my alarm and sat straight up in bed at 7am ready to go - fantastic! so here I am, running on about 2 hours of sleep and have been super hyper all day. #winning


today, march 19:
  today has been rather productive actually. as much as I didn't really want to get back on the grind, internship was good and then class tonight has been cancelled! oh praise Him! however, it has been cancelled due to Hurricane Ike AND Tina headed our way. perhaps Megan and I will go storm chasing and make a home video?
  OH! in other more important news: THERE IS A 95% CHANCE I WILL BE GOING TO KENYA THIS SUMMER! I am beyond pumped and have been praying incessantly that the trip works out. why not? I'm young, I want to explore, I have the opportunity, Kenya is still there, and I don't have a job I'm tied down to yet so, let's go! man, if this all turns out, I will be one happy camper!! so, you lone reader, get on your knees.and.pray!

  DREAMLIFE

hunger games.

well, I didn't make it home tonight. as in, Waco-home. I read The Hunger Games for 7 hours straight today instead. it was pretty nice. talk about some self-care! my favorite thing about social work, always concerned for everyone's self-care :)


but The Hunger Games. let's talk about it. I'm in love. I do NOT read fad books, but with a professor taunting me every class with not having read it and the movie soon coming out, I went ahead and knocked it out. and it.was.awesome. so many political and ethical issues! I always appreciate an intelligent read.


MarchSadness is in full swing today. I don't even care about my bracket anymore, I'm rooting for all the upsets!


I plan on making it to The Village tomorrow morning! and then heading out for Waco from there. so for any of you trying to stalk me, there's my itinerary. let's hope there's no volleyball practice tomorrow, I could use the day off actually. and, it would be nice to ride my bike in the park! so hopefully I get there while there's still daylight. I'm still searching for and outdoorsy partner who wants to explore and go mountain biking and blah blah and will also play racquetball with me. I'm in need of some guy friends! maybe I'll start commuting to where my current fun friends are...


#DowntownCanadian


BU leads Colorado 3-2 with 19:20 to go in the first half. good game! :)

march sadness.

thursday, march 15:

  the only thing worth mentioning, THE BEGINNING OF MARCH MADNESS

today:

  bracket busted. big time. 

  also, a stampede of horses holding up traffic coming home from the gym. as it's getting dark. and my mother wouldn't let me out of the car to help round them up. great. I'll lose it if I see any horse deaths in the paper tomorrow morning.

biking.

I'm currently biking. stationary biking. 


I wish I was mountain biking, but for some reason this putrid weather is incredibly persistent and refuses to sacrifice any spare amount of sun. wow. that sounded so poetic. but since I am currently biking (stationary biking), and feeling rather clever and unproductive, I'll knock out today's post and prepare for an event-less evening. so to make this all that more interesting than it already is, let's go through today backwards... 


so I'm biking. got it. and I just completed my workout for the day holding to my two-day commitment to get in "swimsuit season shape." cute. of course I pushed myself to have a rather decent workout, and I made sure to have perfect form for each move (especially as others worker outers ran by). anyways, my mom and I had just come back from a day's worth of shopping and she almost literally dragged me by the arm to get me to the gym. I suppose it will be worth it if I make it to summer with a hot bod. for lunch-ish my mother and I ate at Central Market, the go-to for the best chicken tortilla soup around. then, naturally, we did some light grocery shopping and walked out with 4 dozen rounds of cookie dough and 9 bottles of wine. oh, and some apples and grapefruit juice as well (we like to eat as healthy as possible). pedicures occurred before the lunch-ish. that was much needed. my mane man doin his thing hooked me up. I warned him it had been awhile (yikes!) but he rocked it and now I am sporting the most lovely shade of bright ass teal there is. beauuuuutifullll.


several hundred dollars earlier, my mom decided to take me mega-shopping. I suppose it was to make up for putting down my dog. meh. I sucked Anthro dry. along with Tyler's and Buckle and Starbucks (duh) and Van's and Francesca's ... hashtag firstworldproblems ...


and to top it all off/start it all off, I finally got my phone fixed! well, actually ended up having to get a new one. I was up for an upgrade anyways! so now I can add a third friend to my posse, the one and only, Siri. she's a nugget. she tells me the secret to life and she plays Backstreet Boys on command and she even texts witty and sarcastic messages to my dad for me. what.a.biscuit.


talk about first world problems. I'm reading a new book: Your Voice In My Head by Emma Forrest. I mention this because (as I was getting my legs massaged) she writes of her childhood molding her to turn to material things for happiness and satisfaction and to make things "all better." hmm. deep. but in all seriousness, this is a major inner conflict for me as I study for my social work degree and read about the poor and research about the lack of education in Africa and Afghanistan, etc, all while I type on my macbook and flaunt my new iPhone. how pretentious of me. how do I love and serve the poor if I am not one of them? how do I give up everything when I assume it would be nothing for me to do it, but end up utilizing all of these material things every single day? [insert words of wisdom here]


ps. I'm off the bike now. now I'm eating dinner (aka wine a la mode) at home. NOM!

nothing clever to say.

what'd I tell ya? I'm getting all mixed up on these blog posts already...


monday, march 12: 
  let's see... I made it home for spring break and as I got out of my car, I found out that my parents got rid of Yogi. not just gave him away, no, they had him put down. I was/am furious. I would have never taken him off the streets over summer if I knew I was just going to be putting him down anyways.. well, I don't really want to discuss it any further.
  definitely the best part of yesterday: reading a book outside on my back porch in my swimsuit. it was so beautiful outside! and my parents and I ate dinner outside as the sun set (in silence of course. the silent treatment is always effective!) but yes, it was quite beautiful and the weather was so nice.


tuesday, march 13:
  today? well today I planned to wake up around 9am and do some homework and then do a workout and then layout and read the rest of the day. you can guess how its turned out so far. I didn't wake up until 1pm but since its windy and cloudy outside, I just started my plan later than expected and unless the sun decides to come out and play, I suppose I'll sacrifice a day's worth of sun. maybe I'll roll around in some dirt so it looks like I got darker when I get back from break... yeah, that might actually happen. well, the rest of my day will consist of homework and eating and TV and bracket making and eating and eating and wasting time on the internet. working out will be in there somewhere, but eating will be my main priority. 

NO INSTAGRAM NEEDED:

one of those weekends.

friday, march 9:
  after such an exciting thursday night, I wasn't quite looking forward to spending my friday-before-spring-break at internship and work. however both turned out to be pretty great considering I got to be at the school most of the day AND I took off work :)
  at PPCD we had a dinosaur party! those babies bring me so much joy its unreal. there was pizza and cookies and Up and slobber and dinosaur costumes - the characteristics of only the best parties ever. of course we took plenty of pictures and my phone works so much better after being covered in cheesy fingers and drool... just another reminder of God's beautiful glory living throughout his amazing creation :)
  after internship, I was hoping to go to the marina but that wasn't really an option seeing as it had been raining since early that morning. but my sister came down and we hung out for a bit before meeting my parents up at George's. its strangely getting to be more and more of a good thing when I'm with my whole family..? then my sister and I stayed up way too late dying my hair purple and bleaching the mess out of her hair. such a fantastic outcome.


saturday, march 10:
  holy S was it a long day. we woke up at 5:30 or so to get to UT by 8am for my volleyball tournament. praise Jesus my dad drove us there. it was the longest day ever but we played well and it was one of the best times I've had playing with my Baylor team! I think my dad summed it up best when he said, "its crazy how different you play, how much better you play when you're having fun. when you're not worried about your coach yanking you out or yelling at you. and when you have a fun team." preach it. my team IS fun! I love these girls! and we all want to win and we all want to get better. AND we all hate losing to UT and A&M. we lost in the semis to UT :( that blows. we played really well, but it just wasn't there. at least they went on to win the championship, but man, I really want to beat them! 
  after our last game, I was so spent. we drove about halfway to waco and stopped to eat and on the way home things got real. I spent the rest of the night plotting my suicide after being sick all night. so that was super fun!


sunday, march 11:
  so after a loooong day and a rough night, I had a little trouble waking up for church this morning. which sucked. I love going to church and really look forward to going and getting a little kickstart to my week, especially since my sister was considering going! but after getting sick and losing a desperately needed hour of sleep (thanks daylight savings), I just couldn't physically get out of bed. I ended waking up at, wait for it.... 4pm! thats crazy even for me! my parents were already gone and turns out katie was still around so we grabbed some grub and ran some errands. after she left, dinah doodoo came over and chilled for a bit and the best part of the night: The Hangover, Old School, and now Tommy Boy are on tv. what a night! now if only I could gain a movie-watching partner...
  finally, its time for spring break! a much needed spring break. plans for each day include: work out, layout, dog park, repeat. not necessarily in that order, but you get the idea. 

THIS IS MY HAPPINESS:

slacker.

I've already slacked on keeping up with this here blog.


two days ago, march 7: 
  I don't even remember. clearly it wasn't that exciting... it was Wednesday so that means that I was trippin on this mega assignment that was due last night. I also had volleyball practice. that was fun. I was high on painkillers. I'm funny! like, I sang God Bless America and America the Beautiful... and may have recited the pledge of allegiance. Christian flag, too.


yesterday, march 8:
  well, I slept for three hours after working on the mega assignment so I could have a game night last night. after a full day of class (8-6pm), and then a 40 min nap and then knocking out the assignment to turn it in 6 hrs early, I hurried to the store and bought a shid ton of oreos and cookies and what not for the party-ish. so then I head on over to my girl dinah doodoos house and start baking the mess outta some desserts. hooray!!!! TWO of 15 people invited showed up. weeeeeee 
  maybe I was just tired and crabby and being a female, but I had been looking forward to this for two weeks! no really, these game nights save my soul. after two weeks of midterms and major projects blah blah, all I wanted to do was watch basketball and eat chocolate and drink beer and play games while laughing with friends. however, I was reminded once again that it is useless to depend my own plans. it may seem trivial, but I was really planning on last night being super fun and satisfying and.it.wasn't. 
  I mean, I did have fun with the four total people there. winning at Bezzerwizzer is always a plus. however, I couldn't help but feel slightly unappreciated. lame I know. but isn't it just glorious when you invite a whole bunch of people and you're banking on having a good time and you make a bunch of shiza for all these people and then?? not even half show up. meh.
  at least at some point there was an attempted music video remake of "If I Were a Boy" by Beyonce involved. those are the best.
  
I AM THANKFUL FOR MY FRIENDS. both of them.

the glory of advocacy.

today was Social Work Day at the legislature. it was an incredible opportunity to come together with other social work students from Texas and visit our state capital to advocate for the oppressed. in between doughnuts and coffee, we listened to speakers tell stories of clients that had "fallen through the cracks;" these stories were meant to remind us why we were in Austin in the first place. 

one story went like this:

  a woman named Kelsey had been found on the streets of Indiana nearly frozen to death after spending the night in 14 degree weather. an emergency shelter took her in, and inquired why she had not sought shelter from the only other shelter offered in the area. it was determined that the main shelter turned her away because she was a transgendered person. because she came in wearing pink jumpsuits and lipstick and makeup and would not present herself as a man, she was denied shelter at the faith-based organization. 

THE WOMAN NEARLY FROZE TO DEATH!

many other stories of clients and advocacy projects were shared and my heart continued to stir over how it is that I am to shine God's glory?? I'm currently reading Desiring God by John Piper, and he explains that God created us out of His glory so that in our creation, we might glorify Him! sounds bizarre and might be hard to grasp (so read the book?)... but, during this morning meeting, my brain was buzzing with thoughts of how it is that God allows these things to happen for His greater purpose and yet He is so full of love that He created us to in turn shine His glory?! 

SO, how do I shine God's glory in these horribly dark and painful places? and as I'm thinking this, the speaker says something like this, "we are here to be their voices, to advocate for the rights of all people." well, there ya go: how do I shine God's glory? by loving His children and being the voice for the oppressed!

after the morning meeting, we all walked over to the capital and students took turns at the microphone speaking on behalf of an advocacy project or social justice issue or oppressed population that they are passionate about and want to raise awareness for. after listening to a few students and clapping at the "God Bless" at the end of every speech (and taking about 100 pictures of toe-touches and statue-climbing), a group of us went in to explore this beautiful capital building of ours! we went to meet our representative and discuss poverty in Waco, but he was out of the office. eating BBQ I presume (umm, it smelled like brisket). and then after several more pictures and almost destroying state property and pledging allegiance to the flag to gain forgiveness from texas, we headed on over to eat some grub grub at Gruero's nommmmmm

2 beers and 13 tortillas later, we were cruising back down Congress to hit up Urbs (Urban Outfitters for you non-hipsters/normals) and then snatched some coffee-ness at The Coffee Bean. the guys were cute and nice and thought I was really funny (a plus), but the drinks were some doody! finally, it was time to face traffic and try not to commit murder-by-road-rage with my riding buddies... at last, we pulled in to Waco asleep at the wheel and now here I am: watching the Mavs womp the Knicks and putting off homework for as long as possible.

change of plans for tomorrow: vball practice tomorrow night. hah.

--game night Thursday!!--

WE ARE THE VOICES OF THE OPPRESSED

nothing new but TOMs.

first, Serge Ibaka has huge arms. the Thunder and Mavs are in a showdown with 46.2 sec left and Ibaka is shooting free throws to put up OKC 92-91.


internship was rather mundane today... well, I got to go to the school and at least interact with children, so that was nice. otherwise, it was an incredibly beautiful day and I wished so badly to be out on the Austin College green with Thomas and Lauren listening to Phipps play guitar and talk about his "half-cup cup." then there was class, of course. who makes a 3 hour class from 4-7pm on a monday??? at least its not on Friday I guess. but we got out early. so I came home and took a nap. clearly.


plans for the week: baseball game wednesday. game night Thursday (CAN'T WAIT). marina Friday. baseball game Friday. vball tourney saturday. house looking and churchhh sunday. HOMEEEEEEE for spring break on monday!


I LOVE KEVIN DURANT AND JAMES HARDEN (aka Abraham Lincoln, Abraham for short.)


goal for tonight, homework (hah. right) and publicizing this here blog and that there tumblr of mine.


in case you're curious about the title - that's right, my new TOMs came in! #firstworldproblems they're the new navajo-inspired botas. I'm so cultural!

oh, OKC won 95-91

day one.

well, its the end of another weekend and the beginning of my commitment to this here blog: I will blog every day (if even one sentence!) about my adventures so that one day when I write my autobiography, I will not have to worry about remembering content!


tonight I cooked dinner for myself. it was pretty cute. I mean, good. grilled honey-balsalmic vinegar chicken and some couscous.. nom! a pretty quiet weekend with both of my two friends gone. watching plenty of basketball and begging people to go to the Baylor baseball games with me because the weather has just been oh.so.beautiful. oh, and being productive with my homework has helped too.


for tonight's post, I will simply state my promise to myself (and you, you one other person reading this):
  1. I will be completely honest and open and replace all familiar names with random ones, like, "reh reh" and "blah blah" and "doody," etc.
  2. I will post every day. even if only for a sentence or two. and on days that I cannot post (its just plain inevitable) then I will provide the most dramatic writing of those lost days' adventures that I can muster. I will also post pictures as often as possible!
  3. and finally, I won't dwell on the past - I will only discuss the current day's events for my records.
  4. oh, and for real finally, when my autobiography is published, all three of you who read this blog will receive a free copy. because I know that's exactly what you were hoping for.

awake my soul.

awake my soul

O Lord

this fire

it's dwindling

it's weak

it's quiet

awake my soul!

a spark

to ignite

this heart of mine

back from the dark

into the

light

help me to fight

this

cold

dark

dwindling flame

it's small

but strong

O my God!

this soul of mine

it's weary

but for You

I call

I crawl

awake my

soul

this light is Yours

it yearns

for You

learning to love.

it's been awhile since I've been on this thing. I guess I just don't have much to say... but so much has happened. these past seven months have been one of the biggest roller coasters of my life and yet here I am.....surviving. actually....thriving? I don't know, it's been one of the most challenging chapters of my life so far and I can only trust that I am being prepared for great and mighty things.

I don't know where I'm headed. when I first came to Waco, I was questioning every move I had made up until starting grad school. I was so sure I was in the Lord's will and following his direction and then the floor is blown up from underneath me and I felt I was barely hanging onto the edge of a giant canyon. I was confused and hurt and angry and bitter and lost. I just felt lost.

...

yet, I am feeling the love of Jesus. He makes himself REACHABLE, TOUCHABLE. He notices me! He hears me! I am learning His love. His great, unfathomable love that I was convinced had passed me over. I am learning what grace is. what mercy is. what forgiveness is. my pain is paving the path of my life and I am simply putting one foot in front of the other. what is this peace that I feel? such a numb heart with a slowly healing, gaping wound. seven months ago, I hated. today, I find joy and peace and rest in forgiveness? in faith and hope? what a bizarre moment I am in at this place in my journey. there are major things I am to accomplish for the kingdom of God and I am yearning for the Holy Spirit's whispered guidance as intently as I can.

maybe I should have written three separate posts. this is so jumbled and I can hardly understand myself. but somehow it all melds together...

I spent this morning hanging out with Waco's homeless population; Project Homeless Connect offered services and education and health screenings to those that are homeless. I feel so encouraged and humbled and thrilled at the experience I had today. not necessarily because I volunteered my time to help others, but really because of Edwin. this 62 year old man spent an hour and a half of his time with me and had me smiling for the rest of the day. what a kind heart and a gentle spirit! at one point, he looked at me and asked, "why are you doing this? is it because of your spirituality?" at first I was stunned, I hadn't really expected this question (plus, it was 8am). and then I thought for second about why I really was at the convention center. then I told him, "well I guess, yes. Jesus did this." Edwin smiled and all he said was, "oh yes. He told us to go out and be with the least of them." God you are here! throughout the morning I was so content getting to know all of these interesting people around me and serving them. not only those that are homeless, but my peers and fellow volunteers as well. what an incredibly humbling experience and an educative opportunity to expand my knowledge of how I can best serve those around me.

I am learning to love.